Max @max@smeap.com

I’m curious about the business reasoning that DFA features Onward and Raya wetr Premium Access (or equivalent) but both Pixar features Soul and Luca have been “Disney+ Originals”. A sign that Pixar is just doing that well it doesn’t have budget concerns about so many “freebie” features or that Disney maybe doesn’t care if Pixar survives these lean times?

I suppose all these “offers” (threats?) to increase my Credit Card limits or for “Promotional APR” from my cards is a sign I’ve been paying them down faster than the bank likes. Nature is healing?

The other day at the exchange some sasquatch tried to get me to buy their NFT or “neat furry token”. Pretty sure that was just a hairball and not worth $3.50.

The only cryptocurrencies worth talking about are the currencies used by cryptids. What’s your favorite cryptozoology currency?

Diggle!

Pretty awesome seeing Luke Fox hanging out with Diggle.

Yeah this mix tape score is just broken bad. Also, apologies to Hans Zimmer. It was a mix tape by a Geoff Zanelli or something like that. I’m going to bother spelling that right only slightly more than was bothered about the score. 😼

Also the ending was exactly the expected lame.

That was a dumb way to reveal the parental thing and kill off Captain Barbossa

Moving figure head makes no sense under the rules of “zombie pirates”. If it were The Flying Dutchman, maybe

Not that this series is great at following its own rules, but that was pretty dumb

I don’t mind the pacing break to find Captain Barbossa is a father as much. But mostly just because Barbossa is great

Okay these Irish stereotypes are just offensive

Oh right these other jokes and most of this sequence was spoiled to me by someone talking about how dumb it was. Zombie sharks 🙄😹

Pirates sailing the Caribbean would have understood the importance of a watch in sailing. But sure let’s have an extended sequence to trot out bad horology/whore jokes 🙄

This is a disappointing back story for both how Sparrow acquired the compass and why Salazar wants it. Also, really awful way to kill the pacing in Act 2 by going to giant expository flashback.

Incredibly awful deaging attempt on Johnny Depp

Also, pretty sure that Hans Zimmer just phoned in this score. It’s pretty much just a mix tape of past cues with nothing really standout new so far.

The use of a guillotine for a recycled “Jack Sparrow spins around a thing while in peril” seems stupid and a ridiculous escalation I don’t envy the next writers to figure out how to “top” when some idiot exec tells them they must for the formula.

Weird choices for a Paul McCartney cameo: one more reminder of stakes we’ve now been told and shown and told a bunch of times now and a classic pirate dad joke.

Though I suppose four minutes is still more generous that doing it off camera between movies.

As expected that’s like four minutes from Barbossa’s brief set piece of doing really well to the reset in five movie status quo that Barbossa needs Sparrow for reasons and has something Sparrow needs.

This movie needed better writers.

Took nearly 40 minutes to finally get to the best pirate in the series. I’m digging Admiral Barbossa’s swank quarters at least. A fun place for him to be after On Stranger Tides. Let’s see how quickly they screw this up though.