Yeah, I know it says a lot more about me that I have such issues with the existential horrors implicit in rooting through all the abysmal humanity in a true crime, but I’m fine with it if you tell me it is a fake crime.

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I generally dislike true crime podcasts, but I also generally enjoy both Martins (Steve and Short) when they work together, so I’ve given Only Murders in the Building a chance. I appreciate they clearly live true crime podcasts but many of the jokes do a good job skewering things I dislike about true crime podcasts and also that it is still at the end of a day a fake crime show despite being about true crime podcasts.

PayPal (-) 

(I guess at least PayPal wasn’t dumb enough to tie one of their better known/successful brands to it, like Google and that weird thing of replacing Google Pay with a “Google Pay” with half the features and built entirely around this Indian SMS payments thing that doesn’t make sense in the US and is also late to the game in competing with existing players in that space.)

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PayPal (-) 

The company that would eventually become PayPal bought the domain out from under my old web host for millions because it was a hip 4 letter .com. Used it briefly as the name of their service what became PayPal. Used it later for a failed “Would you trust PayPal to also be your bank?” brand. (Wonder why that didn’t work out 🤨) Apparently using it now for “Venmo, which we also own, but for international SMS payments because we hear those are big in India right now”

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PayPal (-) 

It’s so weird that PayPal has brought back the dumb Xoom brand name for its third (fifth?) re-usage.

Weird internet history: I used xoom.com as 90s dot-com boom web host. It was more featureful at the time than contemporaries Geocities/Angelfire/Tripod.

Star Trek Day (belated viewing) 

Lol, Star Trek Day giving Travis Mayweather’s actor more lines than the entire show of Enterprise did

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Star Trek Day (belated viewing) 

Star Trek Prodigy for all the people that want something more hipster than Star Wars AOL or Stargate CompuServe

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Star Trek Day (belated viewing) 

It seems iconic to me here that the “here’s all the Star Trek” highlights video focused almost entirely on the TV shows ignoring the movies and then the “best of” orchestral suite makes some direct reuse of Giacchino’s arrangements for the Kelvin films. Love or hate the films themselves, Giacchino’s scores really did a “best of the TOS era scores but better arranged for a modern film orchestra” tour.

YouTube (Evil) 

I still don’t understand why YouTube allows 30 minutes ad (especially interstitially in the middle of a 5 minute episode of something I follow!) (other than the obvious that Google is the world’s most evil ad company).

Right now:

❌ 30 minute ad that’s a dev podcast for a tech stack I don’t give a shit about

✅ 10 minute Barbie ad: screw it, I’m invested if (the horse) Tawny wins the equestrian trial again, even knowing how it obviously ends

Dumb homophone jokes about Horror movie directors 

If James Wan is so great why isn’t there a James Tu?

ESPN+ 

Last year this time I managed to catch a couple games because the Spanish simulcast was on ESPN3 which was covered by ESPN+ but now ESPN3 isn’t covered by ESPN+ anymore either? That’s stupid, this is stupid, ESPN+ is so fucking worthless

Money 

Can’t help but OH some morons talking about savings in gold and silver in “case” the electric and “you, The Banks, you can’t trust them” to “convert money into to food when it happens” and uh, fucking what?

Precious metals worked for the damn cowboys because they still had metalsmiths in their economies. You think city restaurants would take random sparkly metals if the banks weren’t working? To do fucking what with them? I don’t think they need shitty jewelry in dumb coin form.

NSFW Businesses 

The LGBTQ+ owned fighting tooth and nail to keep the license of a 50+ porno theater/adult store across the river from me is named Clarksville Ministries and I love everything about this name

If religious outrage groups can take the names of “concerned citizen” public lobbying groups then fuck yeah sex work is a more valid Ministry than most of that shit

Weird generational marker: people who still say “on speed dial”

Food Energy 

So E=mc^2 tells us that given the average person eats 2.5 kilograms per day that would be roughly 9000 Newtons or about 2000 pounds of force if converted entirely to kinetic energy

CICO is out, it’s all about that TITO now: Tons In Tons Out, bruh

If you aren’t lifting a ton every day at the gym how can you dare assume you can explode all that mass, huh? Do you even lift impossible amounts, bruh?

On my evening strolls, me greeting dogs from a safe distance: Uh, hi, don’t mind me

Me greeting cats from a pleasing distance: Hello neighbor. Pleasant out this evening. Hope you have a good one.

Uber 

Who deletes accounts in 2021 due to “inactivity”? Was my email address eating a couple too many bytes in their database? 😹

I mean it was nice for me getting auto-unsubscribed from marketing emails from whatever that dumb process was, but that also seems counter to the goals of running a service like that. Right?

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Food apps (-) 

Still fucking *floors me* that in the same day, minutes apart Postmates sent me their “Good News: We are switching to Uber Accounts” and Uber sending a “Sorry to see you go: We are dropping your account for dumb reasons” email

How else did they expect me to take that mixed message other than immediately cancel my Postmates subscription?

Just absolutely bonkers customer service for a paying customer. I didn’t trust Uber before that, and I definitely don’t trust them now

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Food apps 

Canceling DashPass because DoorDash seems to have lost most restaurants in town or something AND they’ve had maintenance/outage three of the last four nights I tried to use them

Postmates requires an Uber account now and Uber dropped my account so fuck em

I have the impression GrubHub has worse restaurant buy-in here than DoorDash does

I’m probably just done with all the apps?

Angular is Rotten to the Core (so much cursing) 

Fixed a performance problem I didn’t realize we had by adding a first() to the Observable pipeline of canActivate() responses in route guards. Angular’s devs really don’t understand what Observables are for Evidence #493

(Seriously, why the fuck did they build on top of RxJS if they were just going to get it wrong top to fucking bottom? No one would use this shit if Google’s tarnished damn brand weren’t on the motherfucker.)

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