Max @max@smeap.com

It's been like an hour and I'm still mad at the ending. The movie had all that time to Show us nasty abusive husband crap, but only has time to Tell us about what was probably a way more interesting sub-plot? I was right, this was just like Enterprise, a couple of half-baked "temporal cold war" ideas that were maybe exciting on paper and boring in execution.

Still mad about it.

If I’ve learned one thing from Star Trek: Enterprise it is that Temporal Cold Wars sound exciting but in reality are boring as hell, and uh, this movie isn’t very dissuading to that fact.

I think I’ve entirely checked out with this abusive husband sub-plot. It’s fucking disgusting, and I get it that’s the point he’s the villain and meant to be disgusting, but ugh this is a great case for “Tell Don’t Show” and also you already Told us plenty. (In awful dialog, but clear dialog.) This is just redundant and unnecessary and gross.

This movie can’t seem to make up its mind if it wants to allow Elizabeth Debicki to be her toll self or not.

Why is she wasted in movies like this? She’s 6’2”. Let her be the Amazon Queen of all these 5’0” normal Hollywood sized people. That would be a more interesting movie than whatever this is.

Related to how bad the dialog is, this is the first movie I’ve ever seen have buffering issues during *dialog scenes*. Without that I probably wouldn’t have noticed that every major dialog scene has SO MANY fast cuts, back and forth and back and forth. But now that I’ve noticed it, I can’t stop noticing it and it is bugging me now. It’s not unusual or wrong in its own, lots of films like single actor close ups in dialog. It’s just … BUFFERING

Doesn’t help that this dialog is just the worst. Everyone talks in a clipped “mono-dialogue” (in that way that almost no sentence is a complete thought and every actor is finishing each other’s sandwiches, er, sentences) and sprinting through it like Mamet wrote the dialogue, but it doesn’t have anything like the naturalist tone of Mamet and instead just sounds forced and artificial (and fucking dumb). This dialog is so bad y’all.

50 minutes in so far.

The sound design really is awful. The dynamics are just all over the map and there’s no reason for it. It’s like the reverse entropy of Edgar Wright’s sound work. Unnecessarily loud when it doesn’t make diegetic sense, such as during conversations that you can’t hear. Weirdly quiet in scenes you expect to be loud.

Rather glad I’m not watching this in a theater as I have the impression I might have walked out already without subtitles.

Footnote [1]: Several interviews and YouTube videos I’ve seen with Skrillex give me the impression he’s really sharp and creative and to some extent he seems aware most of his albums to date have been lowest common denominator “assembly line” product.

I somewhat wonder if he’s the next Moby in that some time after he hits middle age he’ll kick himself into trying to make some real, challenging albums.

The best track from Skrillex in my estimation has to be “Bug Hunt” from the Wreck-It Ralph soundtrack. Sure, it’s self-aware self-parody, but I think that’s what winds up elevating it creatively. [1] It’s got a great voice hook (“I’m going to wreck it!”), it’s hilarious in the context of the film, and it’s just infectious fun out of context.

I’m getting real sick of “Disable Your Ad Blocking to Continue” when the only “ad blocker” is Firefox blocking 3rd party tracking cookies. Here’s an idea: fuck off and find advertisers that aren’t creeps and crooks trying to make a penny on overanalyzing shitty crumbs of my browsing history?

And especially fuck Chrome that just using Firefox with default fucking settings is now considered “an ad blocker” enough that so many sites just have these annoying nags.

Amazon: Good news, we’re finally grouping book series on the kindle.

Me: Okay, yeah that sounds like a good idea, might organize things som—

Amazon: And we’re only going to show the covers of the first book in the series.

Me: I’ve read the first books! How do I know which ones have *new* books 🤦

Mario Sunshine’s thematic music “Delfino Plaza” sure has an interesting Bluegrass pedigree. I don’t know where this lost tropical island in Kentucky is, but I’d love to find it.

Do you think with the remaster of Mass Effect more people will learn that Mass Effect invented the “future is so bright gotta wear shades in this spaceship with all the lens flares happening” aesthetic everyone blames on JJ Abrams?

Or will morons finally notice it in HDR and be outraged that the remaster added too many lens flares and must have been directed by JJ Abrams?

Don’t forget that tomorrow is the start of Goblinization! Plan your shadow runs accordingly.

https://shadowrun.fandom.com/wiki/Goblinization

#HackThePlanet (Literally)

“Thanks for letting us crash in your galaxy dudes. This couchsurfing is going to be totes epic, Andromedons!”

I checked the MEA wardrobe and there was a casual outfit listed as NEW that I couldn’t remember from my past games. It might be that I just forgot? It’s amusing enough I’d think I’d remember it. From a patch after O past played? Or maybe it is a New Game + perk?

Anyway, just laughing at Ryder making first contact in a sports bra and Blasto tank top (and headphones draped around neck like a very “bro” necklace). Super cas, just got done with my space jog, first contacts

Cora is such a weird character. Trained as an asari Huntress which seems like training for “Disaster Bi Space Witch” as a job, has exactly that style of hair cut for that sort of “job”, but then is all “No thanks I’m straight”?

I mean I support diversity in Mass Effects, but this remains the strangest “straight inclusion” in the series.

Look I know Carl Sagan said that Pym Particles couldn’t possibly be real and that Hank Pym was just a quack trying to steal money from the DoD, but listen I swear I’ve seen one of them insect people! Living in my bath tub! Probably spying on me for the CIA or SHIELD or something! I’m researching all those old science papers myself now. Maybe there’s a way to protect my house from Pym Particles. Things should stay the size they are, damn it!

The forecast says its snowing right now and supposed to snow for the next few hours.

What is happening?

How does the saying go? April showers bring May flowers, but April snows bring May woes?