Ken Burns style narration of current affairs b/c I am losing it 

Dearest correspondent,

I fear I am losing this war with the flies. At least one has now matured to fully annoying adult size. A few days ago I sought to acknowledge to the resident house spiders that their time to hold up their end of the long standing truce was at hand, but I fear the message fell on deaf ears or perhaps neither of us was prepared for the number of forces our enemy brought to this war.

Yours safe at home, —Max

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Ken Burns style narration of current affairs b/c I am losing it 

Dearest correspondent,

I am afraid that earlier this week I believe I discovered the hidden nest of the much bedamned flies, and it was more disgusting than I had imagined from previous years' wars with the foul creatures. I hope this is the end of them. While the nest has answered likely what they were eating, it leaves questions to how and why I do not want answered.

Yours in disturbed aggravation, –Max

Ken Burns style narration of current affairs b/c I am losing it 

Dearest correspondent,

I had a lull of enemy inactivity for several weeks, but I remained vigilant and hopeful. Despite the hygiene theatrics happening outside my four walls I finally managed to secure proper bleach armaments in my find, so I was vigilant and hopeful.

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Ken Burns style narration of current affairs b/c I am losing it 

(continues)
When what I believed to be a small force returned I was excited to be able to finally nuke their home base from orbit. I expected them to be demoralized and perhaps die in sadness and misery at my clean maneuver.

Yet, somehow emboldened, and in greater force than I expected, these turd farmers have finally discovered my kitchen stronghold. I fear I may be in danger of demoralization now.

Yours with lysol tears, —Max

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